| Prologue: Yom Kippur presents us with a very elongated list of sins we probably could not have committed if we tried. Still, we recite them as we recite the entire Vidui. A famous story is told of the fellow who entered the Shul for the first time on Yom Kippur. When he heard the shul's Rabbi recite the Vidui he left in disgust. Asked why he was so upset, he replied that he could not tolerate a community whose spiritual leader was such a sinner. Funny as the anecdote appears, it is not by accident that the Vidui is written with an eye toward the plural. We atone for the entire Klal Yisroel on Yom Kippur. The individual is included among the masses. But why? When the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed, Nevuchadnezzar declared the Jewish nation to be a Seh Pizurah (Yir. 50;17). The Midrash notes that as a sheep is hurt in one place it affects the entire body, so too, Klal Yisroel hurts when one person hurts. We are a collective bunch, in hurt and in guilt. The Midrash (Vayikra Rabba 4:6) tells us that when a group of people travel on a boat and one person boars a hole under his seat, he cannot claim that it is only he who is affected. The same is true for the nation, Kol Yisroel Areivim Zeh LaZeh. Perhaps this will help us understand the great Klal Gadol Batorah of V'Ahavta L'Reiacha. When we have unity, we have it all. When we don't we fall. This week's Chaburah examines this concept in a slightly more directed manner. It is entitled: *********** Real reactions: When repenting might wreck rather than restore *********** People err. It is in our nature. So much so, that there is a whole day dedicated to the realization of our sins and the restorative process of cleansing ourselves from them ("Kee BaYom Hazeh Yichaper Aleichem "). The process, when it is between us and Hashem, is clearly understood. We cannot hide from him nor can we hide our sins from him. Thus, he expects us to own up to our misgivings and to "take it like a man" recite the Vidui and change the ways. This process is known as Teshuvah (Rambam Hil. Teshuvah 1:1). The difficulty is that man does not sin against his God alone. He can easily sin against his fellow man in the same manner that he sins against God. What follows then, is that there must be a restorative, Teshuvah process for transgressions a person might make toward his fellow man. The trouble is that any Vidui might do more harm than good. Should one tell his friend about a slight he might have done to him if informing the victim would only harm him more merely, for the sake of Teshuva? Rabbeinu Yona (Shaarei Teshuva) notes that if a person tells Lashon Hara about his friend, and the other person does not know who spoke about him, then he must own up to his misgiving in order to achieve Teshuva. Rabbeinu Yona likens the situation to one who shoots an arrow from a distance where the arrow hits its target. The victim does not know who shot the arrow, but clearly he was hit. So too, with Lashon Hara, the source may be unclear but the damage certainly is. Although one could suggest (Hadarom, 5743) that Rabbeinu Yona is merely trying to suggest that if a victim is aware that he was hurt by the transgression THEN he (the perpetrator) must reveal himself (and otherwise not). Rav Shlomo Zalman MiVolozhin (Toldos Adam) disagrees with the assumption. He maintains that Teshuva is a Chiyuv. Asking for forgiveness is part of the Chiyuv. If that is the case, despite the fact that the victim might be victimized again, the perpetrator must ask for Mechila. The Chofetz Chaim (Klal Heh:12) notes that this is the Halacha and the perpetrator must tell the victim what he did even if the victim does not know about it. In the Beer Mayim Chayim (48), he elaborates and notes that if the damage has not been done yet, but can potentially be done, it is unclear whether tesuvah needs to be asked. Still, he recommends that rectification be done in advance in order to avoid needing to ask for Teshuvah. Rav Yisroel Salanter had great difficulty with this Psak. It is reported (Lev Eliyahu I:140) that he asked the Chofetz Chaim why he was so harsh with the Psak. The Chofetz Chaim reportedly blamed it on the position of Rabbeinu Yona cited above. Still, Rav Yisroel Salanter adopted a different position. He maintained that the whole issue should be dependent upon Sechel. If by asking Mechila, one would do more damage, it is better not to do so. One need not go into detail if the victim might get hurt by the details. It is this position that many of today's Poskim (Shut Az Nidbiru Vii:66; Moadim U'Zmanim I:54) adopt L"Halacha. Shabbat Shalom |
adathisraelshul.org - test slogan
